Gralyn J. Photography

I'm supposed to be a Mom.  I struggle with anxiety and depression.  You won't understand what that means until you've dealt with it first hand. Sometimes it means not wanting to get out of bed, just wanting to sleep your days away. Sometimes it means being dizzy or sick all day and not being able to carry out even simple tasks. Sometimes it can drive people away, or bring you to the wrong ones. I'm supposed to be a Mom. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have scars both physical and emotional. I have people who have called me many different things. I was never weak. I've always been the strong one. I'm supposed to be a Mom. But my children help me far more than I could ever do for them. But I'm so scared about what will happen. But I'm living for others. But I'm sick all the time. But... I'm supposed to be a Mom. My children are my pets, my Linden, my Mae and my Mav. My anxiety is a real thing. My body needs help...

I am sitting before work going through Facebook, scrolling like most people do, finding people I went to high school with and some I've never met. Their feeds are full of parties, concerts, friends and just all around fun. I wish I could do this. I wish I could go to work without getting nervous. I wish I could go to take photos without throwing up. I wish I could watch intense movies that make your heart race and you cry your eyes out. I wish I could go to places with loud music. I wish I could get off my butt and take my dog for a walk without feeling sick about leaving the house. I'm tired of anxiety. I don't want to have to keep searching for new medication, or have people tell me it's all in my head. I'm tired of people asking me if I'm ok. I'm tired if people asking me if I "can do this". I'm tired of feeling sick. I'm tired of not going out. I'm tired of limiting my choices. I'm tired of people looking at m...