Gralyn J. Photography

I'm supposed to be a Mom.  I struggle with anxiety and depression.  You won't understand what that means until you've dealt with it first hand. Sometimes it means not wanting to get out of bed, just wanting to sleep your days away. Sometimes it means being dizzy or sick all day and not being able to carry out even simple tasks. Sometimes it can drive people away, or bring you to the wrong ones. I'm supposed to be a Mom. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have scars both physical and emotional. I have people who have called me many different things. I was never weak. I've always been the strong one. I'm supposed to be a Mom. But my children help me far more than I could ever do for them. But I'm so scared about what will happen. But I'm living for others. But I'm sick all the time. But... I'm supposed to be a Mom. My children are my pets, my Linden, my Mae and my Mav. My anxiety is a real thing. My body needs help...

For my Brother... Who I could never explain this feeling to, I hope this helps, and I hope you never feel this way.     Three months ago I struggled with migraines, chest pains and paranoia. I couldn't explain my feelings and everything hurt. I kept my anxiety/depression off of social media for years because it wasn't real to me. It was all in my head and people who had these things were weird and seeking attention.  Now that I am finally getting a handle on it I think it's time to share what it's actually about. (This leaves out bullying (School and religious groups), and work factors that contributed) When I was 11 I started to get chest pains, I had insomnia and random panic attacks about my family being killed or not coming back to my brother and I. Anxiety had worked it's way into my life in a very real way and was taking over my thoughts and my life. I stopped going to birthdays, social events and some days even school. For a few years after movin...