Gralyn J. Photography

I'm supposed to be a Mom.  I struggle with anxiety and depression.  You won't understand what that means until you've dealt with it first hand. Sometimes it means not wanting to get out of bed, just wanting to sleep your days away. Sometimes it means being dizzy or sick all day and not being able to carry out even simple tasks. Sometimes it can drive people away, or bring you to the wrong ones. I'm supposed to be a Mom. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have scars both physical and emotional. I have people who have called me many different things. I was never weak. I've always been the strong one. I'm supposed to be a Mom. But my children help me far more than I could ever do for them. But I'm so scared about what will happen. But I'm living for others. But I'm sick all the time. But... I'm supposed to be a Mom. My children are my pets, my Linden, my Mae and my Mav. My anxiety is a real thing. My body needs help...

I'm sore all over from working a job I actually enjoy for once, and not sleeping at night because I'm panicking about life. No reason in particular, just the fact that I have no idea what the heck I'm doing. I'm 20, fresh out of teenage hood and finished my first year of schooling, now beginning to doubt everything I've ever thought about in life. I had a recent set back which took me back to when I was alone and scared. My parents were divorced and not speaking which made it tough for me to get any information to or from them. I found a group I thought would help and they did for a while... Until everything went wrong. I lost friends, connections, and people I thought I could genuinely trust in my life. Why is this affecting me now? I have no idea. It's something that still hasn't left me. It still keeps me up at night- Why would someone do these things? Why did this happen? What could I have done to stop it? It put me back in 16 year old me's s...